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[personal profile] stardate64783
Title: In Her Gaze
Fandom: MCU
Rated: G.
Notes: Written for the fuckyeahlokisteve exchange on tumblr. Genderbent!Steve!
Summary: Loki ruminates on the eyes of the Midgardian Shield Maiden.
WARNINGS:



It was her eyes. Those defiant blue eyes that drew him in.

When he commanded her to kneel in that courtyard...

"Not today!" was her cheeky reply, pushing his spear aside and engaging him in a fight that proved her as worthy in combat skill as Lady Sif. He had only been temporarily stunned. But there was very little time for him to take in the defiance, the challenge.

What followed didn't give him a chance to look into those eyes again, not for longer periods to see what happened behind them. The Tesseract's hold was strong.

But every time he found a moment of peace, of silence, in his punishment on Asgard, he thought of those defiant eyes. A Midgardian, displaced out of time, challenged him so easily, stood up to him fearlessly. Those blue eyes comforted him.

He counted until he could see her again, hoped to see her again. Then came Thor and his offer of repentance.

When they stepped into SHIELD, Stark had protested loudly. The man-beast eyed him warily. He could tell...none were too pleased with his presence and Thor's plea for the Avengers to have their once enemy work alongside them.

But none of their minds mattered. Loki watched the woman at the other side of the round table. She sat tall and proud. How regal. Even Thor seemed to look to her for approval of this. "The second we smell anything funny, we're sending you back to Asgard and let them deal with you," came her final word.

Loki hadn't been aware he was holding his breath until he let it out and mass chaos ensued around them, those questioning her decision, Thor leaping to his defense.

He had been outfitted with a room of his own with the barest of furnitures. Loki meditated at night to infiltrate her dreams.

Always the same place. Always. This place has soft music, people swaying in couples.

Thus began his time on Midgard. This time, he trained and fought alongside the Avengers. It almost felt like olden times. Thor. Banner with his voracious appetite. Stark and his swashbuckling tendencies. Perhaps he and Fandral would get along. Though he suspects.

She looks so pretty. Not just beautiful. She isn't the super soldier that everyone knows. She just a girl here.

He opened doors for her, bent over her hand, stood whenever she approached or departed from the table. Her face didn't show her emotions but her eyes...Loki reveled in the emotions that flit over her eyes: suspicion, curiosity, wariness.

Loki's strength never was in brute brawl of battle. That was something left to the others. Her eyes, ever watching, saw this.

"Loki, try using magic. Thor said you were pretty skilled at it." And with that, she walked out of the training room with Romanov, not even looking back at him when Thor laid him flat on the mat. Their next mission had him using his magic and trickery, his deception to get the Avengers in the right places.

The end of that battle, he saw the smallest hint of mirth in her eyes.

She wears the same blue and white dress. Sits in the same chair along the same wall. Make up done lightly and carefully. Curls in tact and a blue hair bow. But her eyes...

Thor had Jane. Once, Loki had accused him of a Midgardian woman making him weak.

Always searching, looking through the crowd, trying to find someone.

He accompanied her when she took her walks. Learning more of her time. The sadness in her eyes. Just the sadness of a world, a life lost. Her eyes were defiant, angry, when she faced him, asserted that he had the man who raised him. A brother who was still here. A home to go home to. Family wasn't made of blood. It was made of the connections one makes. When they returned home from that particular walk, he spent the night speaking quietly with Thor...truly learning of how he mourned, how their mother mourned.

It will be a long time before he will be forgiven of what he had done with the Chitauri.

Loki laid on the roof with her sometimes, to watch the stars as they passed by. "Are the stars the same here as they are on Asgard?" she asked softly.

Then the gifts came. Loki had not personally courted. But he figured small gifts, especially those of Midgard origins, were a good start. Her favorite pie after a particularly brutal mission. Fresh bagels. Earrings for Christmas. A rose when her eyes betrayed her sadness.

Was this love? He wanted to see her smile, see the crinkles at the very edge of those expressive blue eyes. He wanted to protect her, keep her safe, even when he knew her place was in the ruin. His heart hurt when she grew quiet on her walks, when she frowned. Elated when she gave the small "Oh" in surprise upon finding a gift.

He stopped infiltrating her dreams. Two years had passed upon his arrival to repent on Midgard. On his second anniversary, he purchased a blue and white dress and a blue hairbow for her. He found a message waiting for him upon his return from training with Thor:

Be there.

Her neat scrawl had two simple words. And he was there. He was always at her command. Loki knew upon their first meeting that she would never truly kneel to him, not willingly, not gladly. But seeing her sit in a dusty chair against a dusty wall of a long closed night club...

Always pretty, breathtaking, beautiful, strong.

Hands folded neatly in her lap. and staring him down...

Those expressive eyes that he'd learn to read over this short period of time.

Loki felt himself move toward her. One step. Then another. And another. And another before he knelt before her. He remembered the glow of the Tesseract, the blue drawing him in, seizing him in its power. Her eyes had a much stronger hold over him. They demanded truth at all times. For anyone to perform at their utmost best.

Perhaps...

She never saw the monster in Banner. Only the ally.

So he let his glamor fade. Let his eyes bleed red and his skin become blue with the markings of the House of Laufey upon him. He offered his hand to her, wating to see what she would do.

Stephanie Rogers took his hand and stood.

Loki, son of Laufey, tragic son of Odin, led her in a long overdue dance.

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